Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
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What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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