my text book just quoted the cookie monster
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
