My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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