God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
