ugly people sure do ruin things
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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