PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I want to fling myself into the sun
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
