i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
