There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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