He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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