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• (559): View more from California

  my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did

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• (518): View more from New York

  I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes

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• (206): View more from Washington

  imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.

  (206): View more from Washington

  Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.

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  These 23 Kids Have The Most Overbearing Parents Imaginable

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• (801): View more from Utah

  You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days

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• (254): View more from Texas

  it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.

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• (727): View more from Florida

  they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were

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• (+64): View more from New Zealand

  You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.

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  21 People That Are Skilled At Illegal Activities

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..

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