I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi