Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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