quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Dating After Heartbreak
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?