yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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