I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just blew my weed a kiss
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I am naked and annoyed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
