Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
