Yo dont text me then not text me
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
