I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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