After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize