There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
wakey wakey hands off snakey
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.