no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??