You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
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I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You have to summon your inner elephant
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride