I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the day after is always just damage control
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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