His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
we made out on top of his cat.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
