just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize