Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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