yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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