idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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