it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
