sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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