Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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