Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
