I wish I could teleport
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We are all done wearing pants today
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
