Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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