I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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