member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
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