What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Pappa wants mamma naked
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize