you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
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you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
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I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
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