You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
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May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
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