we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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