I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Ketchup is God's man juice
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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