Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
