yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
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