Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
