i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
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