You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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