I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bag of teeth...
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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