I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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