i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
