its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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