Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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