whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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