you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I fill condoms, not promises.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
