Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize