I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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