p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
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I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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