my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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