Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
