yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
