This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
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Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
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Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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