I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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