so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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